Before and After
by unwittysidekick
Summary: At Harm's court martial in the episode Meltdown, his lawyer's final question to Jennifer Coates was 'had he ever put his hands on her.' What if she had a different answer to that question?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimers: None of this is mine  
Spoilers: Meltdown  
A/N: Everything will be in local time instead of zulu.  
A/N 2: I'm not a lawyer. The legal strategies used in this story wouldn't hold up in the real world. Take them with a grain of salt and humor me.

Chapter 1

14:30 local time  
JAG Headquarters  
Falls Church, Virginia

"Has he ever grabbed you or otherwise put his hands on you?"

"Ah," Panicked, Jennifer looked over to Harm before focusing her attention back on his attorney. She hadn't expected Lieutenant Commander Coleman to ask her _that_; from his slightly pursed lips, his only reaction to the question, Jen could tell that he hadn't expected it either. She watched Lieutenant Commander Coleman's eyebrows raise slightly, waiting for her question to be answered. "The Commander has _never_ struck me ma'am."

"Petty Officer, I-" Lieutenant Commander Coleman paused as the young woman on the witness stand once again glanced over at the Commander, and in that split second it began to dawn on her that there was something more going on between the two of them. Something that went beyond the scope of a person being compelled to testify against a friend...something she probably wasn't going to like. _Damn_. "-have no further questions for you."

Lieutenant Commander Coleman sat back down, resolutely not looking at opposing council, hoping that he hadn't picked up the same undercurrent that she had, knowing that in all likelihood he had. Sitting next to her, Commander Rabb just as resolutely avoided eye contact with her. _It would almost be funny,_ she thought, _if the implications weren't so potentially devestating._

At the prosecution's table, Major McBurney glanced from Commander to Petty Officer, trying to decide if pursuing this would help or hurt his case. Finally, decision made, he looked back up at the judge. "Redirect Your Honor?"

The judge nodded his assent and Major McBurney stood up and walked around the table. "Petty Officer Coates, in what manner _has_ Commander Rabb touched you?"

"I beg your pardon sir?"

"You just testified that the Commander has never hit you, but defense council didn't ask you that. She asked if the Commander had ever _touched_ you." He turned away from the witness stand and took a step towards the defense table before continuing. "She might have been unwilling to pursue the difference between the two but I'm not."

"Objection Your Honor, council is editorializing."

"Sustained."

Major McBurney turned back to the bench. "My apologies Your Honor. Petty Officer Coates, _has_ Commander Rabb ever touched you?"

Jennifer glanced over at Harm again. Almost imperceptibly he nodded and Jennifer focused back on the Major. "Yes." She said quietly. "Yes he has."

"See there, that wasn't so hard now was it?"

"Objection!"

"Withdrawn. Petty Officer, what is the exact nature of your relationship with the Commander?"

"Objection!" This time it was Harm objecting, up out of his seat practically before the question was finished being asked. "Petty Officer Coates is not the one on trial here! And this line of questioning has no bearing on the prosecution's case."  
_  
Bang_

The judge brought his gavel down. "Sit down Commander Rabb! Overruled! Your own council opened the door to this line of questioning so I'll allow it. And furthermore, in the future leave the objecting to your attorney. Are we clear?"

"Yes Your Honor. My apologies Your Honor." The apology was barely out of his mouth when Lieutenant Commander Coleman yanked him back into his seat to whisper angrily in his ear.

The judge directed his next comment to Jennifer. "Petty Officer, you will answer the question."

Jen nodded her understanding. Head bowed slightly she opened her mouth to answer the question. "The Commander and I..." She paused before continuing.

"Commander Rabb and I are lovers."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimers: None of this is mine  
Spoilers: Answered Prayers  
A/N: Everything will be in local time instead of zulu.  
A/N 2: I'm not a lawyer. The legal strategies used in this story wouldn't hold up in the real world. Take them with a grain of salt and humor me.

I would also like to say thanks! again to the people who took the time to comment on the first chapter.  
Now, on with the story.

_0930 local time__  
__December 25, 2001__  
__Georgetown_

_Knock, Knock, Knock__  
__  
Jennifer ran her hands through her hair again and looked at herself in the mirror. Deciding she liked what she saw, Jennifer walked out of Lieutenant Colonel MacKenzie's bathroom in time to see her step back from giving Commander Rabb a hug. Trying to ignore the tiny flicker of jealousy she felt at seeing the two of them like that, Jennifer stepped further into the room as the Colonel turned her attention to the young man standing just behind the Commander.__  
__  
"Sergei! Merry Christmas! But, how are you..."__  
__  
"Merry Christmas Colonel. It is nice to see you again. As for this, well, I have a Mister Webb to thank." The young man, Sergei, said, speaking with what Jen thought was a Russian accent.__  
__  
"Webb. " Colonel MacKenzie said shaking her head. "I should have guessed."__  
__  
Jennifer tuned out the rest of their conversation as Commander Rabb looked over at her and their eyes met. Once again Jennifer felt her stomach flip-flop; she watched the Commander's brow furrow for a moment and wondered if perhaps he felt it too.__  
__  
"Merry Christmas Jen."__  
__  
"Merry Christmas sir."__  
__  
She smiled at him and he smiled back before turning and waving his companion over. "Petty Officer, this is my brother Sergei Zhukov. Sergei, Petty Officer Jennifer Coates."__  
__  
Jen's eyes widened. "Sir, is he the brother that was..."__  
__  
Harm nodded, his smile getting wider.__  
__  
Jen turned to Sergei and stuck her hand out. "Nice to meet you Sergei."__  
__  
"And you, Petty Officer."__  
__  
"Jennifer. Unless you're in the Navy too?" Jen teased as Sergei let go of her hand.__  
__  
Harm spoke up before Sergei could respond, not liking the tone the conversation was starting to take but not really sure why. "Petty Officer I'll give Mac her ride in the 'Vette and then we'll get started on your case." He frowned then, just realizing that meant leaving Jen and Sergei alone together._

_

* * *

_

"She's got a crush on you, you know."

_"What?" Harm took his attention away from the road for a second to glance over at Mac. "Who?"__  
__  
"Petty Officer Coates. She has a crush on you."__  
__  
"That's ridiculous." Harm refocused on his driving, smoothly shifting up into the next gear. He tried to ignore the warm feeling spreading through him at  
Mac's words. Even so he couldn't help asking his next question. "What makes you say that?"__  
__  
"It took her half an hour just to do her hair this morning." Mac responded. "And you could see it all over her face last night."__  
__  
Harm waved away her points. "Doesn't it normally take you female types a while to get ready in the mornings? And as far as last night, it was just gratitude you saw. I don't think she's had very many people in her life that really care." Despite his words, Harm wasn't sure if he was trying to convince Mac...or himself.__  
__  
Mac looked over at Harm. "If you say so. Just, don't do anything to encourage her Harm."__  
__  
They sit in silence for a minute or two before Harm speaks again. "Thanks again for doing this."__  
__  
"It's fine Harm."__  
__  
"Still, I appreciate it. And I'm sure Jen does too. I'll make sure to pick her up in the mornings though so you don't have to worry about keeping and eye on her during the day."__  
__  
"You said that last night. And I'll say it again, it's not a big deal. I don't really have anything big planned for over the holidays so it's alright to just leave her here. Plus, now you've got Sergei here. I'm sure you're wanting to spend some quality time with him."__  
__  
"I appreciate the offer Mac but she is my responsibility. And I've already talked to Sergei. He doesn't mind Jen tagging along with us this week."__  
__  
During their conversation, Harm had taken the 'Vette around the block and up and down some of the side streets in Mac's neighborhood. Returning to her building now, he pulled up to the curb in front of the building and put the car in park. He turned towards Mac before she could get out of the car. "Speaking of Sergei though, I have another favor to ask."__  
__  
Mac quirked her eyebrow at him but otherwise didn't respond, waiting for him to continue.__  
__  
"Would you mind if he stayed here with you while Jen and I are going over her case?"__  
__  
Mac sighed. "Of course not Harm."__  
__  
Before either of them could say anything else Jennifer and Sergei walked up to the 'Vette. They had been waiting in the lobby of Mac's building for the two lawyers to return and when they saw them remain in the car after coming back, decided to go out and meet them.__  
__  
"How was the ride ma'am?" Jennifer asked when Mac opened her door.__  
__  
"Great." Mac said, smiling at Jennifer. She got out of the car, Harm doing the same on his side.__  
__  
Harm turned to Sergei. "Mac's okay with you hanging out here while I'm working Sergei. I'll be back as soon as I can."__  
__  
"It is okay my brother." Sergei smiled. "I'm sure Colonel MacKenzie has lots of stories to tell about you while we are waiting."__  
__  
Harm groaned while they all laugh. He gestured for Jen to get in through the still open passenger side door and then closed it for her. Mac and Sergei head back inside as Harm walked around and got in the driver's side. Putting the car into gear, he heads off in the direction of JAG HQ. They sit in silence for a few minutes, neither quite sure what to say to the other.__  
__  
Finally, speaking into the silence, Harm asked the question that had been nagging at him although he still wasn't sure why. "So, did you and Sergei find anything interesting to talk about?"__  
_

_

* * *

__  
Harm set the empty carton down on the conference table and pushed his chair back slightly rubbing at his eyes with the heels of his hands. In the chair next to him, Jennifer held a similar carton, using a pair of chop sticks to finish the last of her noodles.__  
__  
Finding a suitable defense had proven harder than Harm had originally thought it would. And he was so focused on his research and case preparation that he didn't even notice that lunch time had come and gone. Only when Jennifer's stomach started growling did he finally take notice of the time. They decided to order take-out so Harm could continue working; because it was Christmas Day, the only place open was a Chinese place.__  
__  
A slurping sound drew Harm's attention and he looked over at Jen in time to see a noodle disappear into her mouth. Her slightly puckered lips held his focus and he recalled the kiss she had given him the night before. Absently lifting his hand to that spot on his cheek, Harm wondered for a moment what it would feel like to have those lips pressed against his.__  
__  
Jennifer looked up from her food to find Commander Rabb staring at her, his eyes slightly glazed over, his hand absently rubbing his cheek. She blushed slightly when she realized where his eyes were focused.__  
__  
"Uh, sir? Commander Rabb? Are you okay sir?"__  
__  
"Eh?" Harm pulled his hand off his cheek and shook himself while at the same time mentally kicking himself for allowing his thoughts to wander in that direction. "Uh, yes, I'm fine Petty Officer."__  
__  
Jennifer looked away at Harm's formality and Harm mentally kicked himself again. He cleared his throat before trying to bring things back to their purpose for being here.__  
__  
"Jen, I...don't think we're going to be able to avoid some brig time."__  
__  
"Sir?" Jennifer looked back over at him.__  
__  
"I've been through every argument I can find." Harm said, gesturing at all the open law books scattered across the conference room table. "If you still wanted out of the Navy, well even without the defective enlistment argument I could probably get you out without any brig time. But since you want to stay in..."__  
__  
"I...understand sir."__  
__  
"The good news is I've found an argument that will have Lieutenant Singer drop the resisting arrest and accept a plea on the UA. 45 days in the brig and you'll be free to return to duty."__  
__  
"Thank you sir!" Jen said, just barely keeping herself from throwing her arms around his neck. Then she remembered something that tempered her enthusiasm. "Are you sure Lieutenant Singer will go for it though? She said she wasn't going to drop the resisting or-"__  
__  
"You let me worry about that Jen." Harm said, cutting her off. "I said I've got a plan. There is one more catch though. The plea deal won't include a reduction in rank but it will require a pay cut as well as a three month forfeiture of pay. Do you think you can live with that?"__  
__  
Jennifer thought about it for a moment. "If it lets me stay in the Navy, yes sir I think I can."__  
__  
"Good. I think we're all done here then. And we still have some of our Christmas left to enjoy." Harm said while reaching over to where he had set the fortune cookies when he had unloaded their lunch.__  
__  
"Yes sir. I'm...sorry sir that you had to spend so much of your holiday here working on my case." _Although I'm not sorry that I got to spend so much time alone with you. _"Especially since your brother-" While she had been speaking Jen had been reaching for one of the fortune cookies, not noticing the Commander reaching for the same one. Their hands brushed together and Jen felt like a jolt of electricity went through her body. She pulled her hand back dimly aware of the Commander doing the same.__  
__  
"It's," Harm struggled to speak, trying to tell himself that he hadn't felt anything when their hands touched. He cleared his throat and tried again. "It's alright Jen. Come on. Lets get these books put back and head back to Mac's."_

_1705 local time__  
__December 29, 2001__  
__North of Union Station_

_"Interesting choice of reading material, Petty Officer." Harm had stepped out of his bedroom area after having taken a shower to find Jennifer reading a book she had found on his desk.__  
__  
Jennifer looked up from the book in question, an overview of the history of English Common Law that was Colonel MacKenzie's Christmas present to the Commander. Whatever she was going to say in response was forgotten when she saw the Commander. The pullover he was wearing was snugger than the shirts she was used to seeing him in and gave Jen a tantalizing hint of what his chest looked like underneath it. With great effort she dragged her gaze away from his chest and up to his face before looking away, blushing, unable to look him in the eye.__  
__  
"I'm sorry sir. I saw it sitting there and it did look kind of interesting...I shouldn't have messed with your personal belongings though, sir. I'll put it back." She started to get up but Harm waved her back down as he walked over to the fridge to get himself a drink.__  
__  
"It's okay Jen." He said after pulling a bottle of water out. He twisted the cap off and took a drink before continuing. "I was just surprised is all."__  
__  
Jennifer settled back down into her seat. "I guess this whole thing has gotten me curious about the other side of the law."__  
__  
"That's a good thing Jen. If there's anything in there you have any questions about..."__  
__  
Jen grinned at him. "Thank you sir. I appreciate that."__  
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Jennifer went back to her reading while Harm worked in the kitchen getting things ready so he could start dinner when Sergei came back from his run. Harm grinned to himself. Only a native Russian would find this weather agreeable enough to go jogging in. Every so often, out of the corner of his eye, he would notice Jen looking at him over the top of the book. It was never for very long and she no doubt thought he didn't notice but he had and it sent a shiver through him every time. He admitted to himself that he had grabbed this shirt because a part of him was hoping that Jen would notice. Because after spending almost a week with her Harm was finally able to admit, if only to himself, that he was feeling something for the Petty Officer; something that had started on Christmas Eve in that bar when she had let her mask slip and allowed him to see the person underneath the tough as nails, devil may care exterior she projected._

__

2340 local time_  
__December 31, 2001__  
__McMurphy's Tavern_

_"So Keeter opened his eyes and instead of that pretty, third year cadet, he found himself face to face with the Academy mascot."__  
__  
"You're not serious sir!" Jennifer said, laughing at the mental image of the Commander's friend welcoming in the New Year by kissing a goat.__  
__Harm smiled at Jen's amusement. "And the look on his face when he realized what had happened - priceless! Absolutely worth the weeks of meticulous planning. Sturgis got a couple of pictures too, although they all somehow mysteriously disappeared right after he got them developed. And Keeter used up everyone's toothpaste trying to get the taste out of his mouth."__  
__  
"I'm sure his payback was just as meticulously thought out, sir."__  
__  
Harm chuckled at the memory. "Oh it was. But that, Petty Officer, is a story for another time."__  
__  
Silence falls, made awkward by everything that remained unspoken between the two of them, and Harm tried to think of something else they can talk about. He sees Jennifer glance around the bar as she sipped her drink. He watched her gaze settle on the TV sitting in the back corner. Someone had tuned it to one of the countdown shows in anticipation of the ball dropping at midnight.__  
__  
"I'm sorry. I'm sure this isn't quite how you're used to ringing in the New Year."__  
__  
"Hmm." Jennifer turned her attention back to him. "It's okay sir. And it's definitely better than last year."__  
__  
Harm snorted. "I find that hard to believe."__  
__  
"Try a New Year's Eve Crossing the Line ceremony."__  
__  
"Ooh."__  
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"Yeah." Jen glanced around the bar again, this time stopping at one of the corners by the bar where Sergei stood, talking to one of the waitresses. "At least your brother's enjoying himself."__  
__  
"Considering this was his idea..." Harm had been planning on a quiet night at home (or as quiet as it got with everyone in the neighborhood setting of fireworks at midnight) but Sergei had wanted to spend his first New Year's in America 'out.'__  
__  
Although she hadn't said anything, Jen had also been hoping to stay in for New Year's Eve. Knowing her time with the Commander was growing short, she hadn't wanted to share him with a bunch of strangers. But she couldn't very well tell him that, and she had no other reason to object to Sergei's request. And as it turned out, it hadn't been as bad as she'd feared. Sergei had been pulled away early on by one of the waitresses who though he was 'kinda cute,' and she and the Commander had spent the rest of the evening sharing stories and joking around.__  
__  
Jen shakes herself, bringing her thoughts back to the present, and sipped again at her drink.__  
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Harm chuckles. "You know, you_ can _have something stronger than club soda Petty Officer. I'm the one who drew the short straw to be the designated driver tonight."__  
__  
"It's okay sir." Jen said, finishing her drink. "There's too many New Year's where I've had a hangover and only a vague memory of what went on the night before. I'd kinda like to remember this one."__  
__  
Before she can say anything else the people closest to the TV start a drunken countdown. Jen sets her empty glass down as she and the Commander turn their attention to the TV, the last seconds of 2001 fading away as the ball got closer and closer to its destination. When it reached the bottom everyone cheered and called out 'Happy New Year' to each other. A few who were drunk enough even started singing Auld Lang Syne.__  
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Harm turned to Jennifer. "Happy New Year Jen."__  
__  
Jen smiled up at him. "Happy New Year sir."__  
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All around them couples were moving closer together, their lips meeting in their first kiss of the New Year. Harm looked down at Jen, her eyes shining back up at him, and he found himself moving closer to her. He started to lower his head and Jen inclined hers in anticipation of being kissed. Their lips were just inches apart whe someone stumbled by behind them, jostling Harm on their way out of the bar. Harm snapped back to his senses immediately, pulling back before their lips touched.__  
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"This can't happen."__  
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Jen blinked up at him a couple of times, trying to get her focus back. "You feel it too sir." It wasn't a question. "This thing that's between us, it's not just me, you feel it too."__  
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Harm pulled Jen off to the side before responding. "Yeah Jen, I do." He hurried on before she can say anything. "But it doesn't matter."__  
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"Sir?"__  
__  
"And you know that already Coates or you would have acted on this before tonight." Harm had had his hands on her shoulders, keeping her at arms length. Now he let go of her, trusting that she wouldn't try to more any closer, half hoping that she would. He grits his teeth, struggling with his own feelings, along with an urge to press her up against a wall and find out just what her lips tasted like. When he spoke again, he was speaking to himself as much as to her. "I'm an officer and you're enlisted. We can't give in to this. Nothing can ever happen between us."_


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimers: None of this is mine  
A/N: Everything will be in local time instead of zulu.  
A/N 2: I'm not a lawyer. The legal strategies used in this story wouldn't hold up in the real world. Take them with a grain of salt and humor me.

Again, a big thank you! to the people who commented on the previous chapter.

0900 local time  
JAG Headquarters  
Falls Church, Virginia

The elevator doors slid open silently and Harm took a deep breath before stepping out. It was his first day back at JAG since being cleared of Lieutenant Singer's murder. He paused for a moment in the empty hallway. His gaze was drawn off to the side, to the double doors leading into the courtroom. A feeling of having gone from the frying pan straight into the fire washed over him. Shaking it off as best he could, he turned away from the courtroom and headed in the opposite direction, towards the glass doors that led into the bullpen.

Removing his cover, Harm pushed through them and stopped as the hustle and bustle of the bullpen ground to a halt as the staff caught sight of him. He managed an awkward, slightly embarrassed smile as he started moving again, slowly walking further into the room. Out of the corner of his eye Harm noticed a couple of the enlisted staff whispering to each other only to fall silent when his gaze fell on them. Harm continued to look around the bullpen, hoping to catch sight of Jen. When he didn't see her he took a moment to wonder where exactly she _was_ at. He knew that like him, Jen had been removed _from_ duty but not excused from reporting _for_ duty while the investigation was going on, so she had to be in the building somewhere.

"Rabb, my office. Now!"

Harm almost jumped. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he hadn't even noticed Admiral Chegwidden come out of his office. Harm started moving in that direction as the Admiral glanced around the bullpen.

"Back to work people." He snapped before turning around and heading back the way he'd come, Harm now only a couple of steps behind him.

Instantly the bullpen became a flurry of activity as the staff practically fell over themselves in an effort to get back to what they had been doing before Harm had arrived. Despite that Harm noticed a couple of the staff throwing glances his way. Then he was stepping into the Admiral's office and he had other things to worry about.

"Close the hatch behind you."

No sooner had Harm snapped to attention, after securing the door behind him, then the Admiral was there, right up in his face.

"What the hell were you thinking? Engaging in an illicit affair with an enlisted woman? Have you completely lost your mind? Even for you that was way out of line!"

"Sir, I would prefer not to discuss the alleged fraternization with anyone but my appointed council."

Harm was still standing at attention, his eyes focused on a spot on the wall straight ahead of him. Even so he saw the Admiral's face grow two shades redder upon hearing his statement.

"Alleged? Are you kidding me? Coates already testified, _in open court_, that for the better part of the last year the two of you were going at it like rabbits every chance you got! And you have the gall to call it 'alleged' fraternization?"

Harm said nothing, merely continued to stare straight ahead. And after a moment Admiral Chegwidden stepped back, nodding his head in reluctant concession to the legal points Harm had been trying to make. He turned around and walked over to the window, folding his hands behind him.

"At ease, Commander."

Harm slipped into the at ease stance as the Admiral continued talking.

"Commander Turner is still wrapping up his investigation but after Petty Officer Coates' testimony it shouldn't come as any big surprise that the two of you have Article 32s in you future. Your 'appointed council' is Lieutenant Roberts." Admiral Chegwidden snorted. "Actually, he volunteered. And of course, as you're already aware, you're relieved of your duties pending the outcome of the hearing."

"Well sir, considering my case load had already been reassigned-" The Admiral glanced back at him, a glare on his face and Harm fell silent. They stood there in silence for a minute before Harm took a deep breath, bracing himself for the Admiral's reaction to what he was going to say next. "Sir, due to the nature of the charges against us, I would like to request that Petty Officer Coates and I be given a joint Article 32 hearing."

The Admiral turned around, but not in anger as Harm had expected. "A joint hearing?" An eyebrow raised. "What are you up to Commander?"

"Nothing sir. As I said, given the charges we're facing it would be unusual not to have a joint hearing."

Admiral Chegwidden was silent for a minute. "Very well. Request approved. Dismissed."

"Aye, aye sir." Harm braced to attention, trying to keep a look of relief off his face, and did an about face. Once outside of the Admiral's office, Harm released the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

Nodding to Tiner, Harm moved back out into the bullpen. He found himself looking around again, hoping to see a familiar pair of brown eyes shining up at him above the smile that made his heart melt every time. Instead, about halfway across the room, he ran into Mac.

"Welcome back Harm. Do you have a minute?"

"I think I can spare one or two. Your office?"

Mac nodded and started moving in that direction. Harm followed, noticing none of the staff would meet his gaze as he walked by them, but several of them started whispering after he had passed by.  
_  
If they're like this with me, what's Jen been going through for the last couple of days?_ Before he had a chance to think much more than that, though, he and Mac reached her office.

"So how does it feel to be out of the brig?" Mac asked as they walked into her office. She closed the door behind them.

"The food there wasn't all that bad actually." Harm said straight-faced. Then he smiled as he continued. "It was nice to be able to sleep in my own bed again though." Then he grew serious. "But that's not what you wanted to talk to me about, was it?"

Mac shook her head. She was silent a minute, trying to figure out the best way to broach the subject. Deciding there was no good way, she just said it. "What's going on with you Harm? What were you thinking?"

Harm sighed and sat in one of the chairs in front of her desk, running his hand across his face. "Not you too Mac. I just got finished hearing this from the Admiral."

"Harm I'm your friend. Just talk to me okay? It isn't like you to have done something like this. Yeah, you've bent the rules before, sometimes to the point of breaking them, but it was always in the pursuit of the truth. Never for selfish reasons."

"I'm sorry Mac. But I'll tell you the same thing I told the Admiral: I'm not discussing this with anyone but my lawyer."

"Fine." Mac walked around behind her desk and sat down. "You know, I warned you not to encourage her."

A response was on the tip of his tongue but somehow Harm managed to keep quiet. Instead, he got up to leave. His hand was on the doorknob when Mac spoke again.

"This is going to cost you your career, you know that right? I hope it was worth it."


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimers: None of this is mine  
Spoilers: Tribunal, Critical Condition  
A/N: Everything will be in local time instead of zulu.  
A/N 2: I'm not a lawyer. The legal strategies used in this story wouldn't hold up in the real world. Take them with a grain of salt and humor me.  
A/N 3: This chapter is where the story starts to earn its rating. If that isn't your thing, turn back now.

_1930 local time__  
__May 2, 2002__  
__USS Seahawk_

_Harm stood on one of the observation platforms, watching the activity on the flight deck. He'd needed to get out of the legal office for a while. The scent of Jen's shampoo had lingered in the compartment long after she and Bud had left, driving Harm to distraction, unable to concentrate on what he was doing. He had come out here hoping the fresh air would help him clear his head and help him to focus so he could finish prepping for court tomorrow. The air crews were getting ready for night ops and normally prelaunching activities would hold his complete attention. Tonight, though, his thoughts kept coming back to a certain Petty Officer. __  
__  
To say he had been surprised to find her aboard, and serving as Bud's legalman no less, was an understatement. It had been nearly five months since he'd last seen Jennifer Coates but when she'd greeted him out on the flight deck, with a smile that seemed to be just for him, he'd realized his feelings for her hadn't diminished as he'd thought. If anything, they were stronger.__  
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That reason, above all the others, had motivated his attempt to get off the ship earlier. Because the more time that he spent around her, the more his resolve crumbled and the closer he came to crossing the line he'd said they could never cross.__  
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The sound of the hatch opening behind him broke into his thoughts. He turned around to see who was joining him. As if his thoughts had somehow conjured her up, there was Jennifer Coates, pausing halfway through the hatch when she saw him on the platform.__  
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"I'm sorry sir. I didn't realize you would be out here. I can go back inside if you'd prefer." Jen held her breath, afraid he might take her up on her offer. After all, he'd gone to great lengths to avoid being alone with her so far.__  
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"It's okay Coates. Plenty of room for both of us." He was playing with fire and he knew it. But now that she was here he couldn't bring himself to ask her to leave. He leaned back against the railing. "So what brings you out here Coates?"__  
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Jen tried not to let her relief show on her face. She finished stepping through the hatch then sealed it before walking over to the railing. She looked out at the activity on the flight deck. "I like to come out here and watch the flight ops." She glanced over at him before continuing, wanting to see his reaction to her words. "It helps me feel closer to you."__  
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Harm tried not to react despite the thrill her words gave him. Her feelings for him hadn't changed either; she had acted professional enough towards him up till now that he hadn't been completely sure.__  
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Trying to ignore the feelings her words stirred up, he racked his brain for something to say that would bring the conversation back to a safer topic. His gaze dropped to the chevrons on her sleeve.__  
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"You know, I don't think that I congratulated you on your promotion Jen. It's really great. You deserve it."__  
__  
"Thank you sir." Jen said. She looked over at him and smiled. He smiled back and Jen felt her stomach do that familiar flip-flop. After a minute he looked away. Jen studied his profile, wondering just what was going through his head. He glanced over at her and she quickly looked away, but not before he caught her staring.__  
__  
"Is there something on my face Petty Officer?"__  
__  
Jen blushed. "No sir."__  
__  
They both fell silent. The wind picked up for a minute, ruffling Harm's hair and pulling loose a few strands of Jen's, sending them flying into her face. Without thinking Harm reached out, tucking those loose strands behind her ear. He lingered for a second and Jen closed her eyes, pressing her cheek against his hand, savoring his touch.__  
__  
Realizing what he was doing, Harm jerked his hand back and looked away, unable to meet her gaze. Again there was silence between them.__  
__  
"Can I ask you a question sir?" For a moment Jen thought he might refuse but then he nodded for her to go ahead. "You wouldn't play chess with Lieutenant Roberts tonight because of me. He thinks you're mad at him, because of me."__  
__  
"Petty Officer..." Harm starts to say, surprise causing him to look over at her for a second before eying the closed hatch leading back into the ship.__  
__  
"You don't have to answer that sir. I've noticed the way you've been looking at me since you came aboard. Or rather, the way you've _avoided _looking at me since you came aboard."__  
__  
Harm didn't respond. Instead he turned around and gripped the railing till his knuckles turned white, afraid that if he didn't he would give into the temptation to reach out and touch her again._ This was why I wanted off the ship.  
_  
Jen watched him grip the railing as if his life depended on it. She knew she shouldn't, but she took a step closer to him and laid her hand on top of his. She felt him tremble slightly at her touch. She watched him glance over his shoulder, eying the hatch again, but he didn't move away from her.__  
__  
"I lied earlier sir."__  
__  
"What?" Harm looked over at her and their eyes met.__  
__  
"When I said that I hadn't realized you would be out here. I do like to come out here to watch the flight ops, just like I told you. But I had gone back to the legal office and when I saw you weren't there I came out tonight, hoping you would be out here."__  
__  
Harm finally pulled his hand out from under hers and broke eye contact. "Jen, we shouldn't be doing this. If someone comes out here and sees us..."__  
__  
Relief swept through Jen as she realized just why he had been eyeing the hatch. He hadn't been looking to run away from her, he had been afraid of someone walking out and catching them like this. "Is there somewhere else we can go then? Somewhere where we can really be alone?" __  
__  
"Jen..." _We can't give into this...

_

* * *

Hearing metal scrapping against metal, Jennifer backed further into the darkened interior of the COD as the underside hatch opened and someone started climbing into the cabin.__  
__  
Squinting into the gloom, she tried to make out who was joining her. "Commander?"__  
__  
"It's me Jen." He pulled the hatch up after him, sealing the two of them alone in the aircraft.__  
__  
Jen felt her heart rate pick up at just the sound of his voice. She took a couple of steps forward, moving closer to him. "I wasn't sure you'd actually come."__  
__  
"I wasn't either."__  
__  
They both fell silent, standing there about arm's length away from each other, neither quite sure what their next move should be. Finally, Jen took another step towards him, closing the distance between them. She stood up on her tiptoes and hesitantly kissed him. It was gentle and tender, and more than a little uncertain, and after a moment she pulled back. Jen gazed up at him, or tried to, the darkened cabin making it impossible for her to see his reaction.__  
__  
His lips still tingling from the kiss, Harm doesn't say or do anything for several minutes, torn between following the regs and following his heart; knowing deep down that he had already made the decision the moment he'd climbing into the COD. He sensed more than saw Jen start to back away from him, no doubt taking his indecision for rejection, and all of a sudden he's no longer torn. Harm reached out, stopping her. Cupping her face in his hands, he leaned down and kissed her. While her kiss had been tender and uncertain, his was hungry and sure, and held a promise of what was to come. Jen wrapped her arms around his neck as his hands fell to her hips, pulling her up against him. Her lips parted as he deepened the kiss, his tongue darting in to explore her mouth.__  
__  
Finally, they broke apart, both of them gasping for breath. Jen lay her head on his chest, listening to his heart pounding, knowing hers was beating just as fast. She had imagined more than once what it would be like to kiss the Commander, but the reality had been so much better than any daydream.__  
__  
"Are we really going to do this?" Pressed up against him like she was, Jen could be his body's response to her. And despite the kiss they had just shared, she was still uncertain about his willingness to throw the regs overboard when he had been clinging to them so tightly just a little while earlier.__  
__  
Harm bit back a groan of frustration. "If this isn't what you want, tell me now."__  
__  
Jen didn't answer with words. Instead, she reached down and stroked him through his trousers. This time Harm did groan before attacking her mouth again. His fingers made quick work of the buttons on her shirt while he trailed light, teasing kisses along her jawline and down her neck.__  
__  
Jen gasped and then moaned when he reached out and cupped her breasts through her bra, squeezing gently. Her nipples hardened into two crinkled peaks as he ran his thumbs over them, circling them slowly. She whimpered when he withdrew his hands and Harm chucked before turning his attention back to stripping her of the rest of her clothes. When he finished she quickly did the same for him.__  
__  
The darkened cabin made it impossible for them to see more than a vague outline of each other. Harm felt a flash of disappointment that he wasn't able to see just how beautiful Jen was. He settled for exploring her body with his hands and mouth, being careful not to linger too long on any one spot lest he leave a mark one of her shipmates might notice.__  
__  
Jen too took the opportunity to explore his body. Not knowing if she would have another opportunity, she ran her hands everywhere, her mouth never far behind. Finally, they were stretched out on the cabin floor, Harm poised over her.__  
__  
Sensing him hesitate, Jen suddenly realized why. "It's okay. I'm on the Pill."__  
__  
Harm nodded even though he knew she probably couldn't see it.__  
__  
She bit his shoulder, muffling her cries when he entered her for the first time. He paused, giving her body a chance to adjust to him. Then, with a grunt, he started thrusting, slowly at first increasing his speed until he found a rhythm that satisfied them both.__  
__  
Harm kissed her mouth, fighting the urge to latch onto her neck and mark her as his. Jen, for her part, had no such restraint, clawing at his back as he continued to thrust into her.__  
__  
"Mmhh. Ow."__  
__  
Harm froze. "Am I hurting you?"__  
__  
"No. There's...something digging into my back."__  
__  
Despite the limited space he had to maneuver in, Harm managed to roll them over so Jen was now on top.__  
__  
"Better?"__  
__  
Jen didn't answer directly, instead she started to move, riding him. Her movements were slower than his had been, attempting to prolong things. Harm reached up, fondling her breasts and pinching her nipples, enjoying the sound of her already ragged breathing coming in shorter gasps because of his actions.__  
__  
Harm groaned; he was close but knew Jen wasn't quite there yet. He gritted his teeth, fighting for control, wanting her to get there with him. He reached between them. When her inner walls started to contract around him he knew she was there. Jen threw her head back, crying out as Harm emptied himself in her, his cries mingling with hers.__  
__  
Jen collapsed limply on top of him. "I love you."__  
__  
Harm froze, the words spoken quiet enough that he wasn't certain he had actually heard what he thought he had. Jen didn't repeat it, though, nor did she seem to expect a response from him. Slowly Harm relaxed, deciding he had just been imagining things. Although why he would imagine her saying _those _words to him wasn't something he wanted to think about right now.__  
__  
He ran his hands slowly up and down her back as Jen snuggled against him, her head nuzzling against his neck.__  
__  
"Don't go to sleep." Harm said even though that was exactly what _he _wanted to do.__  
__  
"Hmm." Clearly starting to drift off.__  
__  
Harm tried to shift around a little without shifting Jen off of him. Now that the adrenaline was wearing off, his back was starting to sting. "It's a good thing your nails aren't longer or I'd probably be bleeding right now."__  
__  
Jen giggled. "I'm sorry."__  
__  
She fell silent and if not for her breathing, Harm might have thought she had fallen asleep after all. He continued rubbing her back as he tried to sort out his feelings about what they had just done. Finally, into the silence he spoke.__  
__  
"If anyone finds out about this it'll cost us our careers."__  
__  
For a minute Jen doesn't respond. Then, like she had on Christmas Eve, she kissed his cheek. When she spoke, her words are also similar to what she had said that night. "You're worth it." She continued speaking, her tone now uncertain. "Do you regret this sir?"__  
__  
"No." There is no hesitation, no uncertainty in his answer. His hands pause on her back. He does regret what he's going to say next. He has to though, for both their sakes. "But this can't happen again Jen."_

_2020 local time__  
__May 22, 2002__  
__USS Seahawk_

_He had fully intended for that to be the case. But the Bud had been injured, and nearly died before the doctors were able to get him stabilized. And so when they got back aboard the Seahawk, he snuck into the COD as soon as it got dark. Knowing she would be there waiting for him. There was an urgency to their coupling that time, as they both tried to find a measure of comfort in the other.__  
__  
Afterward, Harm broke down, unable to hold it in any longer. While a few tears had escaped earlier when they found out that Bud would live, he just hadn't felt comfortable enough to openly cry in front of Mac. Somehow, though, it was different with Jen. She held him the whole time, silently running a hand through his hair in a soothing gesture, comforting him and herself at the same time. She continued the motions even after his tears subsided.__  
__  
"Thank you." He pressed a kiss to her shoulder. He could taste the salt from his tears on her skin.__  
__  
Jen paused, her fingers still tangled in his hair. "For what?"__  
__  
"Being here. Letting me cry on your shoulder."__  
__  
"Lieutenant Roberts is my friend too." Her fingers started moving again. "And you've seen me cry, so I suppose it's only fair."__  
__  
Harm continued to press chaste kisses onto her shoulder, working his way towards her neck.__  
__  
Jen felt him against her, growing hard again. "Don't we need to get back before somebody misses us?"__  
__  
Harm kissed her mouth. "We've got time." He said in between kisses. He shifted around a little so he was over top of her, entering her with one thrust.__  
__  
Harm took ings slower this time, wanting it to be more about making love to her than seeking comfort from her. All too soon though they reached their climax, finding their release together.__  
__  
Afterward they got dressed in silence. When they were finished they lingered in the COD even though it increased their chances of getting caught, neither of them ready to part company. Harm made a big deal of straightening her collar and Jen grinned, knowing that in the darkness he couldn't possibly have been able to tell if it had been messed up._ Or maybe, _she thought with amusement,_ he was just trying to cop a feel one last time.  
_  
When he finally finished smoothing down the edges, she threw her arms around him. Knowing her time with him was running out, she didn't want to waste a second of it. All too soon they would have to go back out into the real world where she would have to pretend that he was barely a friend...and that she wasn't completely in love with him. Jen blinked back her tears, knowing they would leave a wet spot on his uniform that he would have a hard time explaining away. He put his arms around her, rubbing his hands up and down her back soothingly.__  
__  
"Hey, hey. It's okay." He was silent for a minute. "I'll email you when I get back to Washington."__  
__  
"What?" Jen pulled back in surprise. He couldn't have just said what she thought he had. She looked up, wishing she could see the look on his face at that moment.__  
__  
Harm sighed and pulled her back against his chest. "I know, I know. I'm the one who's been saying nothing can happen, that this thing between us can't go anywhere. But something _is _happening. I don't know what it is Jen, or where it's going. I just know that I don't want to go back home and pretend like it didn't happen."__  
__  
"Sir, are you sure? What about your career? If someone finds out..." _Shut up Jennifer, _she told herself._ Isn't this what you want? Are you really going to try to talk him out of it?  
_  
Harm chuckled. "It's Harm, at least when we're alone." He grows serious. "And yes, I'm sure." He leans down and plants a chaste kiss on her cheek. "I think you'll be worth it." _

A/N: For those of you curious, yes Jen did say 'I love you' to Harm, he wasn't imagining it. But she didn't realized she said it out loud so that's why she didn't react to his non-response.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimers: None of this is mine  
Spoilers: Minor one for Meltdown; bonus points for whoever recognizes the nod to Season 1's Boot  
A/N: Everything will be in local time instead of zulu.  
A/N 2: I'm not a lawyer. The legal strategies used in this story wouldn't hold up in the real world. Take them with a grain of salt and humor me.

Thank you to everyone who's been taking the time to read this!

1000 local time  
JAG Headquarters  
Falls Church, Virginia

"Come on in sir."

Harm, having just been about to knock when Bud spotted him, lowered his hand and stepped into the Lieutenant's office. He glanced around the room, looking for Jen. He'd been back at JAG for a couple of days now and he still hadn't seen her. He'd even tried to get a hold of her once they were off duty but she hadn't returned any of his phone calls. He knew it was probably for the best that they maintained their distance right now, but he still missed her.

Bud, having rose from his chair when Harm had entered his office, saw him look around the room and correctly guessed why.

"Petty Officer Coates will be here in a minute sir." Bud gestured towards one of the chairs in front of his desk, sitting back down himself once Harm was seated.

"The Admiral said you requested this assignment Bud. I just want to say thank you. It means a lot."

Bud shrugged. "You're my friend sir. And so is Petty Officer Coates." He didn't say anything more, as if that explained it all.  
_  
And maybe, in a way, it did._ Harm thought.

They both fell silent and Harm took the opportunity to look over Bud's desk, taking note of the huge stack of files sitting to one side. _I hope those aren't all for our case._

Jennifer approached Lieutenant Roberts' office somewhat hesitantly. She had deliberately avoided Harm since his return to JAG and she wasn't sure how he would react once they were in the same room together. She wasn't sure of her own reaction for that matter. Jen paused outside the doorway, allowing herself a moment to just look at him before raising her hand to knock on the door frame.

Lieutenant Roberts looked up at her. "Come in Jen. Close the door behind you."

Harm half turned around in his chair and stood up. This was actually the first time they had seen each other since that day at his court martial. And the first time since before the whole mess with Singer began that they had something approaching privacy so they could be themselves with each other.

As Jen closed the door Harm took a step over to her. Without thinking he reached out to caress her cheek but she pulled back from him and he stopped, thinking she was concerned about everyone in the bullpen watching them. He settled for taking her hand and squeezing it.

"How are you doing?"

Jen smiled up at him and squeezed back. "I'm fine sir." She continued to look up into his eyes, unable to make herself look away.  
_  
Ah-hem_

Bud cleared his throat, causing them to break eye contact. "Do you two want me to close the blinds so you can have a little privacy?"

Jen pulled her hand out of Harm's, a slight blush coloring her cheeks. "That won't be necessary sir." She mumbled.

She moved to sit down, unable to look Lieutenant Roberts' in the eye, and Harm followed suit, returning to his seat. He looked over at her, studying her. She looked worn down, the slight bags under her eyes attesting to a lack of sleep. Even her smile from a moment ago had seemed frayed around the edges. Harm frowned, wishing now that he had tried harder to connect with her. She shouldn't have had to go through this alone.

"Jen, are you really okay?"

"It's nothing I can't handle sir." Jen looked over at him, hoping to reassure him. "Really."

Bud awkwardly cleared his throat again and Harm reluctantly let it go.

He turned his attention back to Bud. "So how bad is it Lieutenant?"

Bud sighed in relief, grateful the Commander was finally focusing on the reason for their meeting. "It's not good sir. If we're lucky, and Commander Turner is willing to deal, we might be able to avoid brig time. But even then, I don't see how we can save either of your Navy careers."

Harm had been expecting as much but still he winced. "That bad, huh?"

Bud set his hand on top of the stack of files Harm had noticed earlier. "In addition to Jen's testimony, which in itself would be enough to convict, they have copies of your emails and instant message chats from when Jen was on the Seahawk." The tips of his ears colored slightly as he continued. "Some of which are quite, um, incriminating."

Harm shifted in his seat uncomfortably, aware of exactly which emails Bud was referring to. Jen, too, looked away embarrassed, her cheeks coloring once again.

Bud hurried to continue on. "Commander Turner even found a couple of witnesses." He flipped through the pages in the top file until he found the sheet he was looking for. "A woman from your building, sir, who will testify that Petty Officer Coates was frequently at your apartment and often spent the night. He also has witnesses from several of the restaurants the two of you went to."

Hearing that last part, Jen looked over at Harm, feeling guilty. "I'm sorry sir. If I hadn't insisted-"

"It's okay Jen." Harm said, cutting her off, not wanting her to blame herself. "We'll deal with it. I've got a plan. Did you talk to Sturgis, or anyone else, about any of this?"

Jen shook her head, a confused look replacing the guilty one on her face. "No. After court that day...you said not to...so I haven't."

Harm smiled. "Good. That's great." He turned towards Bud who also had a confused look on his face as he looked back and forth between the two of them. "Bud, I think we can get Jen's testimony thrown out."

Bud frowned, trying to figure out what Harm was getting at. Then all of a sudden it hits him. "Because she was never read her Article 31 rights!"

He pulled another file folder out of the stack, this one containing a copy of the court martial transcripts, and reread the pertinent page, nodding as he did so. He looked up at Harm, a look of contrition on his face. "I'm sorry sir, I don't know why I didn't see that before. And if the confession is thrown out..." Bud trailed off, looking again at the stack of files piled on his desk. "That just might work sir."

He pulled a blank legal pad out of one of his desk drawers and started jotting down notes.

Jen looked from one of them to the other, not understanding the significance of what had just happened. "Would one of you like to tell me what's going on? Sirs." The last part was added almost as an afterthought.

Bud looked up at her. "Oh right. Sorry. I just assumed that...Anyway." Bud quickly explained what they were trying to do.

"And that will really work?" Jen asked when he had finished.

This time Harm answered her. "It's the best shot we've got."

Jen nodded, noticing that he hadn't really answered in the affirmative. She didn't comment on that though, knowing Harm would worry if he thought _she_ was worried. Instead she listened as Harm and Lieutenant Roberts discussed a few key points in their strategy. While they talked, Harm absently reached over and took Jen's hand, idly rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb. She saw Lieutenant Roberts glance at their joined hands for a moment, looking like he wanted to say something but then thought better of it. Harm must have caught the look too, because a moment later he addressed the unspoken questions.

"This wasn't something we planned Bud. It just happened. We tried not to give into it but...what do you do when you've fallen in love and it's not allowed?" Harm chuckled mirthlessly. "Someone once asked me that exact same thing. I didn't have an answer for him then. I'm not sure I really have one for him now. But I do understand what he was going through a lot more now."

Harm paused. He glanced over at Jen before looking back at Bud. "How we went about this was wrong Bud. We know that. But at the time we didn't see that we had any other choice."

Bud nodded, accepting Harm's words without condoning their actions or passing judgment on them. "You two were able to hide it well enough though. I certainly had no clue there was anything going on between you by the way you acted around each other when you were on duty. Nobody probably would have if it hadn't been for your court martial, Commander."

Harm and Jen looked at each other. "That was the idea Bud."


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimers: None of this is mine  
Spoilers: All Ye Faithful  
A/N: Everything will be in local time instead of zulu.  
A/N 2: I'm not a lawyer. The legal strategies used in this story wouldn't hold up in the real world. Take them with a grain of salt and humor me.

_2345 local time__  
__December 24, 2002__  
__North of Union Station_

_"So you were late getting back because you were playing Rudolph?" Jen grinned at the mental image. __She and Harm were lying in his bed, facing each other from opposite ends of the bed.__  
__  
"Hm. Sort of. I was_ later _getting back anyway. I'd've been late no matter what since my original ride dropped its tail hook on the ramp trying to trap." Harm paused, remembering the sinking feeling he'd had as he watched that COD just kept going across the deck. Shaking off the memory, he continued. "You didn't seem all that worried, though, when I finally showed up."__  
__  
"That's because I wasn't." Jen answered just a little smugly. "When I emailed you about my new orders, you promised that we would spend Christmas Eve together. And you haven't broken a promise to me yet. So I new you'd be there. It was just a matter of when."__  
__  
Harm was silent, touched by the amount of faith Jen obviously had in him. Then he grinned as another thought occurred to him. "Are you sure Tiner didn't have anything to do with it?"__  
__  
"Tiner?"_ He couldn't possibly be serious! _Jen pushed herself up off her back, propping herself up on her elbows so she could look at Harm more directly. The grin on his face told her he was just teasing her.__  
__  
Harm continued, his brow furrowing slightly as he fought to keep the smile off his face. "Yeah, he seemed quite taken with you. Not that I blame him. And he was obviously trying to impress you..." He trailed off, chuckling.__  
__  
Jen grinned back at him, deciding to play along. "Well, now that you mention it, Jason _is _kind of cute. And he wa so...earnest all day today..." She laughed when his chuckle turned into a coughing fit. She decided to take pity on him. "And it's completely one-sided. I'm all yours...Ooh yeah. Oh that's it. Don't stop."__  
__  
Harm grinned at her reaction as he continued the foot rub he was giving her, slowly kneading his thumbs into her insoles.__  
__  
"That feels really good Harm. My feet were killing me." Jen grimaced. "I guess I'm going to have to get used to wearing high heels all day."__  
__  
They fell silent as Harm switched feet.__  
__  
After leaving the Roberts' Christmas party, separately, they had met at Harm's apartment. Once inside, there had been an awkward hesitancy between both of them before they made love. In a way it had been like their first time all over again. No longer were they constrained to the cramped, darkened cabin of a military aircraft. Instead, they had been free to take their time, free to fully explore each other's bodies in a way they had been unable to before.__  
__  
Even though she knew it was ridiculous, Jen had felt a little self-conscious when Harm had slowly undressed her, revealing her body to his hungry gaze for the first time. The look she saw in his eyes though, not of lust but of awe reassured her. And then it had been her turn to strip him of his clothing and take in a body she had know only by touch before. Like him, she hadn't been disappointed.__  
__  
Afterward, basking in the afterglow, Jen had sprawled half on top of him, her legs tangled with his as she pressed the occasional kiss to his chest. One of her hands had idly drawn circles on his chest while he had traced the outline of the tattoo on her back as he held her. She told him she loved him then. Harm hadn't responded except for the slightest of hesitations as his hand continued to move on her back. Jen hadn't pressed it, not wanting to pressure him into saying something he wasn't ready to say yet. They had fallen back into a comfortable silence, their earlier awkwardness with each other gone. After several minutes he had asked her how her first day at JAG had gone and they had moved into their current positions so he could rub her feet as they started sharing the details of their respective days.__  
__  
"Merry Christmas Jen."__  
__  
Jen was drawn out of her thoughts at his words. She looked over at the bedside clock and saw that it was indeed midnight now and officially Christmas Day. "Merry Christmas Harm."__  
__  
Jen crawled up the bed so she could be next to him again. Lying on her side, Jen propped her head up with her hand so she would be able to see him. "So what, if anything, did you have planned for us today?"__  
__  
"Well," Harm said, rolling onto his side to face her. He took the hand her head wasn't resting on and brought it to his mouth, pressing kisses to her fingers. "I thought later we could order some takeout-"__  
__  
"Chinese?" Jen interrupted, remembering their first Christmas together just last year.__  
__  
"Of course. Although considering that's probably the only thing that will be open today anyway..." Harm trailed off. "Other than that, I thought we could just stay in bed all day."__  
__  
Jen frowned a little. "You don't want to go out anywhere?"__  
__  
"You know we can't."__  
__  
"Not even someplace where nobody would see us?" Jen started nibbling at his neck. "We could go to a movie. It'll be dark. And we could sit in the back and make out the whole time."__  
__  
"I'd much rather do that here." Harm said, leering at her breasts, leaving Jen with no doubt as to why he'd rather stay in.__  
__  
He reached out a hand to one of her breasts but Jen batted it away, grinning. Not giving up, Harm rolled them over, pinning her under him. Jen grinned up at him as he lowered his head and kissed her. After a minute he started kissing his way across her jawline and down her neck. When he lingered on the spot where her neck and shoulder met, Jen half-heartedly started pushing at his shoulders.__  
__  
"Hey. Don't you think you've done enough of that?"__  
__  
Harm paused his efforts and pulled back enough to survey the rest of his handiwork. He had taken full advantage of the fact that Jen was no longer on a carrier out at sea anymore, marking her body everywhere his mouth had gone. __  
__  
He smirked down at her. "Consider this payback for my back." __  
__  
Jen grinned at the reminder of their time on the Seahawk. "I said I was sorry for that." Then she sighed in mock resignation. "At least they're all in places that will be covered up by my uniform. Otherwise they might draw some unwanted attention at work."__  
__  
Having finally brought up the subject they had danced around all evening, Jen turned serious. "What are we going to do now that we're working together? Our interactions aren't going to be limited to emails and instant message chats anymore."__  
__  
Harm sighed and rolled off of her, flopping onto his back next to her. He rubbed a hand over his face. He had been asking himself that very thing ever since he got her email about her new orders.__  
__  
"The only thing we can do: we keep pretending there's nothing going on between us." Harm turned his head to look at her. "Be completely professional around each other when we're on duty. Even if we're alone. There'll always be a chance of someone walking in on us unexpectedly and we can't give anyone a reason to suspect anything. _


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimers: None of this is mine  
A/N: Everything will be in local time instead of zulu.  
A/N 2: I'm not a lawyer. The legal strategies used in this story wouldn't hold up in the real world. Take them with a grain of salt and humor me.

0930 local time  
JAG Headquarters  
Falls Church, Virginia

"Hold up a minute Bud." Harm said, stopping Bud before he could follow Jen into the courtroom. "If Judge Morris doesn't go for this, I want to take full responsibility for everything. Say I pressured her into it or something."

Harm noticed Bud fighting to keep a straight face, the corners of his mouth starting to curve upward despite his best efforts. "I'm serious Bud."

"I know you are sir. It's just...Petty Officer Coates said almost the exact same thing to me this morning." Bud paused for a second. "Except I believe she used the word seduce."

Bud started walking again, passing through the double doors and entering the courtroom. In his shock, Harm followed without thinking. He'd suspected Jen was a little uncertain about whether their strategy would actually work but he hadn't realized she was concerned enough to come up with her own backup plan. He was touched that she was trying to protect him, with no thought to herself or the consequences. And it made him even more certain he would do everything he could to make sure she didn't have to. He grabbed Bud's arm, stopping him before he could move any further into the courtroom.

"I don't care what she said Bud..." Harm trailed off, looking over at the defense table where Jen was sitting. Turned slightly in her chair, she watched them, a questioning look on her face. Harm turned back to Bud. "Don't make me make it an order Lieutenant."

Bud too looked over at the defense table for a moment before looking back at Harm and nodding. "Yes sir."

Jen watched Harm and Lieutenant Roberts talking just inside the courtroom. They were still far enough away, and speaking quietly enough, that she couldn't hear what they were saying. But she had recognized the determined set to his jaw when Harm looked over at her and knew that whatever it was, Harm had made up his mind about it. And from Lieutenant Roberts' unhappy expression she suddenly had a good idea of just what that was.

When they finally approached the defense table, Jen looked up at them, a question on her face. Lieutenant Roberts wouldn't look her in the eye though and Harm just shook his head slightly as he sat down next to her, no doubt hoping she wouldn't press the issue. The look she gave him told him it was a futile hope but before she could open her mouth the bailiff spoke up.

"All rise."

Everyone in the courtroom stood as Admiral Morris entered and took his seat.

"You may be seated."

Jen sat back down, along with everyone else in the courtroom. She smoothed her skirt down, suddenly nervous. Under cover of the table, Harm reached over and took her hand for a second, giving it a reassuring squeeze before letting go.

Admiral Morris looked first at Commander Turner, seated at the prosecution's table, then over at the defense. "Are you ready to proceed?"

"I am Your Honor." Sturgis said.

"We are Your Honor." Bud echoed.

"Very well." Admiral Morris nodded for Commander Turner to begin.  
_  
Here we go._ Harm thought, watching as Sturgis stood and moved around the prosecution's table.

"If it pleases the court, the government wishes-"

"Your Honor," Bud said, standing up. "The defense moves that the testimony Petty Officer Coates gave during Commander Rabb's court martial be ruled as inadmissible."

"Inadmissible? On what grounds?"

"Commander." Admiral Morris gave him a warning look before looking toward Bud. One eyebrow rose. "Well Lieutenant?"

"On the grounds that Petty Officer Coates was never informed of her Article 31 rights before being compelled to provide self-incriminating testimony Your Honor. And an attempt to end that line of questioning before her answers _became_ self-incriminating were overruled." bud handed a copy of the relevant portion of the transcripts to the bailiff, who in turn gave it to Judge Morris.

While Bud had been speaking, Sturgis had moved back over to his table and started skimming through his own copy of the court martial transcripts. Now he spoke up. "Your Honor, the attempt Lieutenant Roberts is referring to was Commander Rabb's own objection. And objection motivated more by a desire to keep their affair a secret than by any desire to protect the Petty Officer's Article 31 rights."

"Alleged affair." Bud said, turning to face Sturgis. "And whatever his motivation might have been, it doesn't change the fact-"  
_  
Bang_

"Gentlemen, enough."

Admiral Morris took a minute to read through the transcripts. Jen found herself holding her breath as she waited for him to make his ruling. This decision was the lynch pin to their whole defense. If it went against them...She glanced over at Harm, the bunched up muscles in his jaw the only sign of the tension he was feeling. Finally Admiral Morris looked back up.

"Commander Turner, the defense has a valid point. Even leaving aside the issue of Commander Rabb's objection, the fact remains that Petty Officer Coates was _not_ informed of her Article 31 rights. And that makes her testimony inadmissible in these proceedings. Defense motion approved."

"Thank you Your Honor." Bud said, sitting back down.

"Move along Commander."

"Yes Your Honor." Sturgis glanced down at his notes for a moment before continuing. "Your Honor, the government wishes to call-"

"Your Honor," again Bud interrupted Sturgis. "Based on the inadmissibility of Petty Officer Coates' confession, the defense would move that all evidence obtained, and any witnesses found, as a direct result of that confession likewise be thrown out due to the fact that they are-"

"Fruit of the poisonous tree." Sturgis finished for Bud, the words coming out in a monotone voice. He dropped back down into his chair, looking more than a little dazed.

Bud looked from Commander Turner to Admiral Morris, a self-satisfied look on his face. "Exactly Your Honor." He said matter-of-factly.

"Very well. Motion approved." Admiral Morris looked over at Sturgis. "Commander Turner, do you have any evidence to present that is independent of Petty Officer Coates' testimony?"

Sturgis sighed. "No Your Honor, I'm afraid I don't."

"Very well. Will the defense please rise."

At the defense table, Bud, Harm, and Jen all rose and stood at attention.

Admiral Morris looked at Harm and Jen for a minute before speaking. "Despite my personal belief that these allegations are true, the lack of admissible evidence leaves me no choice but to dismiss the charges. You are free to return to duty. Court is adjourn."  
_  
Bang_

Harm released the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He turned towards Jen but something in her body language warns him to let her be. He turned to Bud as around them the courtroom started to clear out. Already whispering about the outcome was starting, but Harm ignored it.

"Thanks Bud." They shook hands but before Bud could respond Sturgis came up behind them.

"Nicely played Lieutenant. Congratulations." He nodded towards Harm and Jen. "Harm, Coates."

Bud turned around to face Sturgis. "Thank you sir. I can't take all the credit though. The Commander actually came up with the strategy."

"Really." Sturgis said, his eyebrows raising. "I guess that explains why you refused to answer any of my questions, even though you'd already confessed to everything in open court."

"Yes sir." Jen said, not quite meeting his gaze.

"I just have one question then." Sturgis looked Harm in the eye. "Was this always the plan if you two were caught or were you making it up as you went along Harm?"

"I was flying by the seat of my pants the whole time buddy."

"Hmm." Sturgis nodded. He moved towards the double doors, the last one to do so, leaving the three of them alone in the courtroom.

"Thank you sir." Jen said, finally speaking up. She hesitated a moment before continuing. "Do you think the Commander and I could have a moment alone sir?"

Bud gave them a look. "You aren't going to do something...actionable are you?"

"No sir."

Bud looked at them for a moment longer then nodded and headed out of the courtroom.

Once he was gone, Jen turned away from Harm, her arms wrapped around her waist, hugging herself. She'd practiced saying this all last night but if she had to look at him she didn't think she would be able to get through it. "It's over sir."

Harm laid his hand on her shoulder. "Yeah. I told you everything would be okay."

Jen pulled away from him. "Not this." She waved her hand to indicate the room they stood in. Then, despite her resolve not to, she turned to face him. Another hand gesture took in the two of them. "This."

Harm froze as he realized what she meant. "What?"

"Did you really think that if we were able to beat the charges everything would go back to the way it was?"

Harm sighed. His shoulders slumped. "I guess I was just so focused on trying to find a way to get to this point that I really didn't think about what would happen after. But that doesn't mean-"

"Yes, it does." Jen interrupted him. "I almost got you convicted of murder, and in the process I've probably sunk your career. I can't..." Tears start to fall and Jen paused, one hand pressed to her mouth, trying to compose herself enough to continue.

"Jen don't." Harm takes a step towards her, stopping when she backed away from him. "It was my choice too, remember? We'll figure something out, okay. We'll make this work..."

Jen shook her head. "We've been trying to figure something out for months...I've already talked to the Admiral, and pending the outcome of the hearing he already approved my request for transfer to a new duty station."

"Jen." _This can't be happening. After everything we've been through..._Harm tried one last time to get through to her, the only thing that might change her mind. "Jen, I love you."

Jen took a step, closing the last little bit of distance between the two of them. She put her hands on either side of his face and kissed him. Harm could taste the salt from her tears on her lips. A moment later she pulled back, pressing one last, quick kiss to his lips before letting go.

"I'm sorry." The tears were flowing freely now. "Goodbye Harm."

Jen turned and all but fled from the courtroom, leaving Harm standing there all alone.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimers: None of this is mine  
Spoilers: Small one for Fortunate Son  
A/N: Everything will be in local time instead of zulu.  
A/N 2: I'm not a lawyer. The legal strategies used in this story wouldn't hold up in the real world. Take them with a grain of salt and humor me.  
A/N 3: This chapter has more adult content.

_1900 local time__  
__March 21, 2003__  
__North of Union Station_

_"Oh yes! Yes!"__  
__  
Feeling herself close to her release, Jen stopped moving, eliciting a groan of frustration from Harm. He tightened his grip on her, his fingers digging almost painfully into her hips, silently encouraging her to start moving again. She ignored him, fighting her own urge to move, wanting to take a moment to savor the feeling of him so deep inside her, filling her completely. The sound of Harm's labored breathing as he fought to hold back his own climax finally spurred her into motion again.__  
__  
It had been several weeks since they were last able to spend time alone together, cases and last minute dinner meetings and such keeping them apart. So when Jen had gotten to Harm's apartment that night, they hadn't made it to his bed; they hadn't even gotten all their clothes off. Locked in a desperate, hungry kiss, they had simply stumbled over to the living room area where Jen had unzipped him and pushed him down into one of the chairs then hiked up her uniform skirt and straddled him, impaling herself on his already hardened member.__  
__  
Jen threw her head back, her own breathing now coming in ragged gasps. She groaned when Harm took advantage of the opportunity and started kissing his way down her neck, stopping when he reached the point where her neck and shoulder met.__  
__  
When he had finished marking her, Harm continued kissing his way down her body. At some point earlier he had gotten her shirt open so he could ravish her breasts. He returned his attention to them now, suckling first one then the other through the lace of her bra. When he bit down on one of her nipples, that was enough to send her over the edge, crying out his name as she climaxed. A moment later Harm's voice joined hers, his grip on her hips tightening again as he let himself go.__  
__  
Jen collapsed against Harm's chest, her head nuzzling his neck. She pressed feather light kisses to his jaw while her heart rate slowly returned to normal.__  
__  
"I love you." Jen felt his body tense up at her words before he forced himself to relax again. Jen sighed in exasperation and, despite her lethargy, pushed herself up off of his lap. She turned away from him, smoothing her skirt back down. She started buttoning her shirt back up, cursing under her breath when she discovered two of the buttons were missing.__  
__  
"This isn't working."__  
__  
Harm, caught off guard by her sudden and unexpected withdrawal, straightened up in surprise. Fighting his own sleepiness, he looked at her in confusion. "What are you talking about?"__  
__  
Jen turned back around to face him. "I'm talking about how you freak out every time I tell you I love you."__  
__  
Harm flinched at her words and looked away, unable to meet her eyes.__  
__  
"See." Jen said. She continued before Harm could say anything. "And I'm talking about how we never do anything, never go anywhere. We just stay holed up in this apartment."__  
__  
"You know why that is. If anyone saw us..."__  
__  
"I'm not talking box seats at the opera or dinner at some five star restaurant in downtown Washington Harm. But we could go to some out of the way little corner restaurant, or take a walk in a park, or anything, if you really wanted to. I suggested going to eat at that little French themed place the last time we were together but_ you _said you'd rather stay in and cook us something yourself."__  
__  
Harm stood up. "I though you liked it when I cook for you."__  
__  
"I do." Jen rubbed her face with her hands, frustrated. "You're not getting it." Jen paused, trying to find another way of saying what she was trying to say. "I'm okay with being your secret girlfriend, as long as I know that I_ am _your girlfriend. But lately, all I feel like is your booty call."__  
__  
Harm flinched as if she had physically struck him._ Does she really think that's how I see her? _He reached out to her but she pulled away from him. He tried again, this time with words. "Jen, you're more to me than that."__  
__  
"Am I? How could I know that when you don't talk to me, not about the things that really matter."__  
__  
Harm massaged his forehead with one hand, starting to get a little frustrated himself. "Now what are you talking about? We talk all the time."__  
__  
"Really? Then why didn't you talk to me about what was bothering you the other day? With those illegal immigrants? You went to Colonel MacKenzie." Jen held up her hand to forestall his objections. "I'm not upset that you talked to a friend, I'm upset that you talked to her and you didn't talk to me. Shouldn't I be the first person you turn to? Don't I deserve that much at least?__  
__  
"When we're together, I give myself to you, in every way, completely and without any reservations, because I love you. I thought, I hoped, that you felt the same, even if you couldn't say it yet."__  
__  
"Jen, I'm sorry." Harm took a step towards her, trying again to reach out to her but she put her hand on his chest, keeping him at arm's length. "What do you want Jen?"_

I want to know what's really going on in you head. _"I just..." Jen sighed, suddenly very tired. "I need a break Harm."__  
__  
She turned away from him, stopping only to pick up her purse and cover from where she'd dropped them by the door when she came in. A moment later she was gone, leaving Harm alone in his apartment._


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimers: None of this is mine  
A/N: Everything will be in local time instead of zulu.  
A/N 2: I'm not a lawyer. The legal strategies used in this story wouldn't hold up in the real world. Take them with a grain of salt and humor me.  
A/N 3: Alright boys and girls, we're getting close to the end now. Only two chapters left after this one.

0800 local time  
JAG Headquarters  
Falls Church, Virginia

"Welcome back sir. How was Anchorage?"

"Cold Bud. Who would have thought there'd still be snow on the ground in May?" Harm moved through the bullpen, Bud following along behind him. When he got to his office, Harm dropped off his briefcase and cover and turned to face Bud. "Do you know if the Admiral's in?"

"I...believe that he is sir." Bud's expression went from open and welcoming to guarded in an instant. "You'll have to check with Tiner to find out for sure though."

"Thanks Bud, I'll do that." Harm said, not at all fazed by the change in Bud's expression. Everyone in the office was walking on eggshells in one way or another where he and Jen were concerned. Even though the fraternization charges had been dismissed everyone knew that it wasn't because they were innocent.

Stepping back out of his office, Harm headed off across the bullpen in the direction of the Admiral's office. As he walked he glanced around, looking for Jen. He had to report to the Admiral about his trip but before that he needed to talk to Jen. Or at least get her to agree to talk to him once they were both off duty. She had successfully managed to avoid him since their Article 32 hearing, except when, in the course of their duties, it was unavoidable. And even then, she had turned aside all of his attempts to talk about their relationship, keeping things strictly professional. But he had done a lot of thinking on this trip, and this time he wasn't going to take no for an answer.

Unfortunately, he didn't see any sign of her in the time it took to cross the bullpen. Sighing, Harm reluctantly pushed aside his thoughts of Jen. He smiled at Tiner as he entered the younger man's office.

"Hey Tiner. Is the Admiral in?"

"Welcome back sir." Like Bud, Tiner's expression became guarded upon seeing Harm. "And yes sir, he actually just got off the phone with the SecNav."

"Thanks Tiner." Harm walked over and knocked on the door frame.

"Enter."

Harm opened the door and stepped through, snapping to attention after closing the door behind him. Admiral Chegwidden set down the report he had been reading and looked at Harm over the top of his glasses.

"At ease Commander. How was your trip?"

"Well sir." Harm said as he slipped into the at ease stance. "There's not a whole lot to add that wasn't in my preliminary report. I'll have the final copy on your desk before I secure for the day."

"Very well Commander. Ah, don't unpack your sea bag just yet though. Something's come up out at Keflavik and I need you to look into it. You leave day after tomorrow."

"Iceland sir?" Harm said, looking at the Admiral in disbelief. There was a pattern developing where his TAD assignments were concerned, and if this situation was anything like Anchorage, the most junior legalman on the base would be able to handle it without requiring any assistance from him.

"Do you have a problem with that Commander?"

"No sir!"

"Good. You'll be briefed when you get over there." He was about to dismiss the Commander and get back to the report he had been reading when he noticed the expression on his face. "Was there something else Commander?"

"Yes sir." Harm paused a moment before continuing. "Sir, I was just wondering if you knew where Petty Officer Coates was at."

Admiral Chegwidden pulled his glasses off and stared at the Commander a moment, a look of incredulity on his face. For a moment Harm thought he wouldn't answer. Finally he snapped out a reply. "Her orders finally came through, day before yesterday. I'd imagine that right now she's settling into her new duty station."

Harm felt as though he'd just been kicked in the stomach. _She's really gone._ He'd known since the day of the hearing about her transfer request, of course, but in his heart he hadn't believed that it would really happen, had thought that he would have time to change her mind.  
Harm opened and closed his mouth several times, trying to speak, but nothing came out. Finally, after what seemed like forever, he found his voice again. "Sir, may I ask where that is?"

"No Commander you may not!" Chegwidden snapped. "Commander," he paused, softening his tone somewhat when he saw the sucker punched look on Harm's face. "You need to let her go. It's what she wanted and it's what's best for the both of you."

Harm barely heard the Admiral dismiss him, coming to attention on pure reflex. He stumbled out of the office and through the bullpen, moving on autopilot. The rest of the staff, seeing the dazed look on his face and no doubt realizing what it meant, did their best to try to avoid him. Somehow he got through the rest of the day, although the only productive thing he recalled doing was writing up the final report on his Anchorage trip.

At home, he was at lose ends. They had spent so much time there that everything in the apartment reminded him of Jen. Finally, he went out for a run, hoping to distract himself. And it worked too, at least until he went to get cleaned up. Standing in the shower, streams of hot water running down over his body, his traitorous mind insisted on replaying the times that he and Jen had made love in the shower.

With a muffled curse he turned the water off and dried off. Afterward, rummaging through his closet for a t-shirt, Harm found one of Jen's sweatshirts that she had forgotten at his apartment. Holding it close he inhaled her scent, still lingering on the fabric. Eventually he fell into a fitful sleep, her sweatshirt still clutched tight in his grasp.

* * *

"Harm."

Harm opened his eyes, certain he'd heard someone call his name.

"Hello?" He looked around, seeing someone standing in the shadows. "Who's there?"

The person moved closer until he was able to see them clearly.

"Jen!" Harm pushed himself upright as Jen sat down next to him on the bed. "What are you doing here? I thought, I thought you had gotten your transfer."

Jen shook her head, blinking back tears. "I couldn't do it. I couldn't leave you. I love you Harm."

Harm pulled her against himself. "I love you too. I thought I'd lost you."

Jen pulled back from his embrace. "You'll never lose me."

Jen cupped his face in her hands and pressed a tender kiss to his forehead. Harm closed his eyes, comforted by her touch. He opened his eyes-

-and found himself once again alone in his darkened apartment. He choked back a cry at the realization that it had all been a dream. It was a long time before he was able to fall back asleep.

* * *

"Good morning sir."

"Morning Bud."

"Are you okay sir? You don't look so good." Bud asked, concern on his face.

"I didn't get much sleep last night Bud." Harm didn't elaborate, just continued walking in the direction of his office. Once inside, he sat down, rubbing his hands over his face, trying to figure out what he should do now. The optimism he had felt, just twenty-four hours ago, seemed to mock him now as he tried to accept that it really was over between him and Jen.

Noticing movement outside of his office, he looked up to see Bud and Harriet in an intense, heated conversation out in the bullpen. He watched Bud shake his head while Harriet gestured emphatically. A hint of a smile tugged at his lips. He wondered what Bud was thinking. His friend had been married long enough now that he ought to know better than to argue like that about something his wife was that passionate about.

Deciding the outcome was a foregone conclusion, Harm turned his attention to stack of file folders on his desk. In addition to his arctic wonderland trips, the Admiral had assigned him a lot of the paperwork usually handled by the junior staff. He was halfway through the first one when he heard a knock on his door. He looked up to see Bud standing in the doorway.

"Do you have a minute sir?"

Harm glanced down at the brief he was proofing, then back up to Bud. "Sure Bud. Come on in. What's up?"

"Petty Officer Coates talked to Harriet before she left sir." Bud paused for a second. "She told Harriet she had gotten orders to Spain."  
_  
Spain._ Harm repeated silently. He was up out of his chair and halfway through the door a second later.

"Sir!"

The concern in Bud's voice stopped him. Harm turned back towards him. The look on his friend's face was also of caring concern.

"Are you sure about this sir?"

Bud's meaning was clear and Harm looked him straight in the eye when he answered him. "I've never been more sure of anything Bud."

And then he was off, leaving Bud standing outside his office, heading across the bullpen towards the Admiral's office. He didn't hesitate or look back so he didn't see the concerned look Bud gave Harriet when she came up beside him, or the reassuring hand Harriet placed on Bud's arm in response.

"Is he in?" Harm asked Tiner as he stepped into the yeoman's office. Not waiting for Tiner's answer, Harm knocked on the Admiral's door.

"Enter."

After closing the door, Harm braced to attention.

"At ease. What do you want Commander?"

"Sir, I request to be sent TAD to Rota."

Admiral Chegwidden stared at him for a minute. "I thought I told you to let this go Commander."

"I'm sorry sir but I can't do that."

"Well you're damn well gonna have to. You have orders to Keflavik. Request denied."

"Then I request permission to take leave."

"Denied." Chegwidden got up and walked around his desk. "Commander you were damn lucky to avoid a court martial the first time around. Keep this up and no fancy legal maneuvering is going to save your six from a second one. Am I making myself clear enough this time Commander?

1830 local time  
Naval Station Rota  
Spain

Jen walked out of the JAG office, saluted an officer who walked by, and headed off in the direction of the female enlisted barracks. She was one of the last ones to secure for the day, as was becoming her habit. She had been on the base for almost a week now and had picked up her new duties fairly quickly; they really weren't all that different from what she had been doing at JAG headquarters. She stayed late, though, because unlike most of her co-workers she had nothing to do after securing. No friends to spend time with, nothing to look forward to except returning to the barracks, and her empty bed, and crying herself to sleep. Or lying awake all night, wondering if she had made the right decision after all.

She hadn't imagined that leaving Harm would hurt this much. Some days the pain was so intense she could barely breath. She kept telling herself that it had to be this way. That there was no way they could be together now, and if there was any chance of Harm being able to salvage his career she wanted that for him.

But the logic didn't make the pain go away. Nor did it keep her from seeing him wherever she went.  
_  
Like now._ She thought as she approached the barracks and saw a man sitting on the steps leading up to the doors. The man, a civilian, had dark hair like Harm. She wasn't close enough yet to make out any other features but she already knew that would be the only similarity. _Because it's not him Jennifer. It will _never _be him._

* * *

Harm stood up as Jen got closer. For the first time since she had left him in that empty courtroom, he felt like he could breath. He took a couple of steps towards her as her footsteps faltered. She looked at him as though she couldn't believe her eyes. And then she was in his arms, her own wrapped tight around him.

"I can't believe you're here." She sobbed.

"Shh. It's okay." Harm rubbed his hands up and down her back soothingly. Her cover had been knocked off when they embraced and Harm pressed his nose to her hair, breathing in the scent of her shampoo.

All of a sudden she pushed him away. "No! You can't be here!" She wiped at her tears. "What are you doing here? Why aren't you in uniform?"

Harm reached out and pulled her back against his chest, needing the contact with her. And despite her protests of a second ago, she didn't fight him, instead wrapping her arms around him again. Jen lay her head on his chest and listened to the strong, steady beat of his heart.

"I'm here to be with you Jen. I resigned my commission."

"What? No Harm!" She tried to pull away again but this time Harm wouldn't let her. "That's why I left. I didn't want to cost you your career."

Harm chuckled. "You should have thought of that before you asked me to meet you in that COD." Then he grew serious. "You didn't cost me anything. I love you Jen. And if I have to choose between my career and you, well, I choose you."

Harm leaned down and captured her lips in a kiss. When they finally broke apart, they were both gasping for air. Harm rested his forehead against Jen's. She looked up at him, into his eyes, as he looked down into hers.

"Are you sure about this Harm?"

"I've never been more sure of anything."

Harm let go of her for a second and reached into his pocket. Jens gasped, pressing both hands to her mouth, when she saw the jewelry box Harm pulled out. Harm grinned, taking her reaction as a good sign. Then he was down on one knee in front of her, the jewelry box held out before him. He opened it, revealing a solitaire diamond set in a simple gold band.

"Jennifer Coates, will you marry me?"

* * *

A/N: Yes, I know there are a few similarities to the last couple of episodes of season 8. But at this point, the only way Harm and Jen can be together is if one of them is out of the Navy. And if, on the show, Harm was willing to resign his commission to go after someone who was ultimately only a friend, how much more would he be willing to do that for the woman he's professed his love for, if that's what he had to do to be with her. And then once I made the decision to have Harm resign, I thought it might be kinda fun to have a dream scene beforehand like on the show.  
A/N 2: My apologies to anyone reading this who lives in Alaska. Call it creative license.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimers: None of this is mine  
A/N: Everything will be in local time instead of zulu.  
A/N 2: I'm not a lawyer. The legal strategies used in this story wouldn't hold up in the real world. Take them with a grain of salt and humor me.

_1115 local time__  
__March 28, 2003__  
__JAG Headquarters_

_"Here are the files you asked for sir."__  
__  
"Just set them down over there." Harm didn't look up from the legal text he was consulting, just absentmindedly waved towards the corner of his desk. "Thank you Petty Officer."__  
__  
Jen stood there for a moment, blinking back tears._ He really _doesn't _care about me. He can't even be bothered to look at me. _She watched him scribble something on the legal pad in front of him, giving no indication he was even aware she was still in his office. Finally, she placed the file folders on the spot that he had indicated and turned to leave, struggling to keep her professional mask in place.__  
__  
Harm finally looked up when he heard the click of her heels on the floor, indicating she was at last leaving his office. He watched her as she made her way across the bullpen.__  
__  
Her words to him that night had hit home, knocking down the walls he had unconsciously built up. And in that moment he'd realized what a part of him had always known - he had fallen completely in love with her. And on the heels of that revelation had been another one, the reason he'd denied the depth of his feelings for so long.__  
__  
He'd wanted to run after her and profess his love but he knew she wouldn't believe him then. So he let her go, giving her the space she said she wanted. Coming in to work since then hadn't been easy though, being so close yet having to stay so far away.__  
__  
He knew his actions just now had to have hurt her, even more than he already had, and it tore him up. But he was afraid that if he looked at her and saw the pain in those beautiful brown eyes, or even worse cold indifference, he would end up on his knees in front of her begging for forgiveness. But JAG HQ in the middle of the day wasn't the right place for that, not if they wanted to continue keeping their relationship a secret.__  
__  
So while she had been in his office he had reread the same two sentences about a dozen times, writing down who knows what, while he waited for her to leave. He had pretended indifference, when in reality the exact opposite was true, every nerve in his body acutely aware of her presence from the moment she had entered the room.__  
__  
She was through the double doors now, leaving the bullpen behind and Harm turned back to his legal text. They really needed to talk, and soon. He only hoped she would give him a chance to explain, about everything.__  
__  
Jen barely made it into the head before her mask cracked. Locking herself in one of the stalls, she buried her face in her hands and started sobbing.__  
__  
She had started to regret some of the harsher things she had said to Harm, once she had had a chance to calm down. The situation with Mac had upset her more than she had realized and so she wasn't able to just shrug off Harm's behavior like she normally did. Because the truth was, despite his reaction whenever she professed her love for him, his actions often said something completely different. So she had been hopeful that this wasn't the end for them, that they would be able to get past this and perhaps have a stronger relationship because of it.__  
__  
At work, they had acted professionally towards each other, months of practice allowing them to slip into those roles with ease. But today had been their first time alone together since the fight. And while she knew they wouldn't be able to discuss anything about their situation, she had hoped that Harm would give her some indication that he too wanted to work through this.__  
__  
Well, he had given her a sign alright, just not the one she had wanted. Maybe she had been reading too much into his actions towards her and it had all been wishful thinking on her part that Harm really did feel something for her...__  
__  
When Jen finally cried herself out, she stepped out of the stall and nearly ran into Lieutenant Sims.__  
__  
"Jennifer! That was you in there?" Lieutenant Sims asked, a concerned look on her face. "Are you all right?"__  
__  
"Yes ma'am." Jennifer said, wiping futilely at her tear streaked face. "I'm fine. I'm just..." Jen tried to think of an excuse, spitting out the first thing that popped into her head. "I'm just a little more hormonal than usual this month, that's all."__  
__  
The look on Lieutenant Sims face said she wasn't buying it, even a little, but she didn't push, just reached out and squeezed Jen's arm comfortingly. "If you ever need to talk, about anything Jennifer..."__  
__  
"I appreciate that ma'am. I really do. But like I said, I'm fine." Jen walked around Lieutenant Sims and over to the sink. She looked at herself in the mirror, noting her puffy eyes and splotchy, tear streaked face. She turned the water on and splashed some on her face. It helped a little but it was still obvious she had been crying._ Well, nothing I can do about that now.  
_  
Walking out of the head, Jen decided to take any early lunch. She went to get her purse out of her desk drawer and glanced over at Harm's office, seeing him talking on the phone now. Their eyes met for a second and then Harm looked away. Jen shook her head. She needed to get out of the building for a little while...__  
__  
When she got back Jen found the bullpen somewhat subdued, most of the rest of the staff now at lunch themselves. Walking over to her desk, Jen found a fresh stack of files sitting there. A note stuck to the top file asked if she would proof them before giving them to the Admiral. She recognized the handwriting as Harm's and it both upset her that he couldn't even ask her in person to do this, and ticked her off that he couldn't be bothered to proofread his own reports.__  
__  
With a muffled curse Jen sat down. She opened the top folder - and found another handwritten note inside, stuck to the first page of the report. _

**_1348 Columbia St._**_**  
**_**_1800_**_**  
**_**_Casual Dress_**

_Under that were directions on how to get there from JAG HQ. Jen looked over towards Harm's office but it was empty; he was at lunch like the rest of the staff. She looked back down at the paper and wondered to herself just where he wanted her to go, and why._

* * *

_Jen stood outside of a little Italian restaurant just over the state line into Maryland. She was late. Looking in through the front windows she saw Harm sitting at a small table in the back. A waiter walked up to the table and she watched Harm shake his head in response to whatever was said to him. The waiter left, somewhat reluctantly, and Jen saw Harm glance at his watch.__  
__  
Turning away from the window, Jen took a deep breath and walked over to the entrance, removing her cover as she stepped inside. She made her way over to the table she had seen through the window. Harm looked up at her approach, a look of relief on his face. He stood up, pushing his chair back slightly, when she stopped in front of the table.__  
__  
"I wasn't sure you'd actually come."__  
__  
"I wasn't either."__  
__  
She had gone back and forth about it the rest of the day. She still hadn't made up her mind by the end of the day when she handed off to the Admiral the reports Harm had given her; reports she had quickly discovered hadn't needed any correcting after all and had just been his way of getting his note to her undetected.__  
__  
She was just getting ready to secure for the day when the Admiral dropped another pile of files on her desk and told her they needed to be taken care of by Monday. Since the next day was Saturday and nobody came into the office on the weekend, that meant she needed to finish them before she left.__  
__  
Deciding that that was a sign she shouldn't go to meet Harm, she got started. But when she had finally finished, after passing through the checkpoint she found herself heading not home but rather following the directions Harm had given her and wondering if he would still be there.__  
__  
Harm continued to stare at her and Jen toyed with the strap on her purse, uncertain about what her next move should be. After a minute Harm snapped out of the daze he was in and walked around the table towards her. Pulling her chair out for her, he helped her get seated before returning to his own chair. Before either of them could say anything a waiter came up to the table, the same one Jen had seen earlier.__  
__  
"Ah, you arrive at last madam. Would you like to order now?" From his tone, Jen knew he wasn't going to take no for an answer.__  
__  
"I'm really not very hungry." Jen said, not even bothering to look at the menu in front of her.__  
__  
For his part, Harm tried not to glare at the obnoxious little man with the fake Italian accent. The man had been over every ten minutes since Harm had arrived, trying to get the table freed up as quickly as he could. "We'll just take a couple of salads and some more water."__  
__  
Harm turned his attention back to Jen as the waiter left. She was still in her uniform, with her hair pinned up, although a few strands had worked their way loose of her braid. He pressed his hands flat on the table, fighting the urge to reach out and tuck the loose hair behind her ear, not certain how receptive she would be to that. Before he could say anything, their waiter returned with their salads and two fresh glasses of water.__  
__  
Jen toyed with the salad, pushing the lettuce around the bowl, before finally setting her fork down. "What are we doing here Harm?"__  
__  
Harm set his own fork down. "I'm so sorry Jen."__  
__  
"For what?" Jen asked, not completely certain just what he was apologizing for.__  
__  
"I'm sorry for the way I hurt you earlier. I wasn't ignoring you. I just, I didn't trust myself to stay professional when I was alone with you." Harm watched her blink back tears. Hesitantly he reached across the table and took her hand in his, breathing a sigh of relief when she didn't pull her hand away. He continued. "And I'm so, so sorry that I gave you reason to doubt what we have. Because the truth is, I love you." He paused then said it again. "I love you."__  
__  
Jen covered her mouth with her free hand. All this time and he'd finally said it. A part of her still hesitated, uncertain if he was only saying it now because she'd pressured him into it.__  
__  
Harm watched a few tears escape and run down her face despite Jen's best efforts to keep them back. He reached out, gently wiping them away with his thumb. "I think I fell in love with you that night at that bar..."__  
__  
Jen finally found her voice. "Then why didn't you say anything? Why did you freak out every time I did?"_ Why did you put me through this?  
_  
Harm sighed. He'd practiced this all afternoon and still he wasn't sure that he could put into words what he was feeling. Jen saw this and squeezed his hand in silent support, giving him the confidence to try. "I guess because I was scared."__  
__  
"Scared of what?"__  
__  
"They've all left."__  
__  
Jen blinked, confused. "Who?"__  
__  
"Everyone I've been seriously involved with, for one reason or another, they've all left."__  
__  
"Oh Harm." Jen said, beginning to see where he was going with this.__  
__  
"And you have better reasons to leave then they did. I'm too old for you..."__  
__  
Jen interrupted him. "I've told you before, I don't care about the age difference."__  
__  
Harm continued as if she hadn't spoken. "We have to sneak around to be together. And I don't see how that's going to change in the reasonable future. And I thought, I was afraid, that sooner or later you'd get tired of it. I mean, come on Jen, you already are. And I guess I thought, if I didn't say those words, if I didn't admit to you or myself how deeply you'd worked your way into my heart, it wouldn't hurt as much when you left."__  
__  
"Oh Harm." Jen squeezed his hand again. "I'm not going anywhere."__  
__  
"I don't know how we're going to work this out."__  
__  
"We'll figure something out. And until then, we just keep doing what we've been doing."__  
__  
"Well, maybe not _exactly _what we've been doing."__  
__  
Jen looked at Harm in confusion, not sure what he was talking about.__  
__  
"You were right Jen. As long as we stay away from places where we might be recognized there's no reason we can't go out...We're out to eat here and the world isn't ending." Harm said, grinning as he said the last part. Jen's answering smile lit up her face.__  
__  
They finished eating, Harm paying the bill when the waiter dropped it off a few minutes later. Outside, Harm took her in his arms and kissed her. When they finally broke apart they were both out of breath.__  
__  
Harm rested his forehead against hers, looking down into her eyes. "I promise I won't ever shut you out again." He paused. "I love you."__  
__  
"I love you too." Jen's arms were still wrapped around his neck. She pulled him down for another kiss that left them just as out of breath as the first one. Jen was silent for a minute, just enjoying being with Harm.__  
__  
"So now what, back to your place?" Jen finally asked in a suggestive tone.__  
__  
Harm shook his head. He removed her cover and pulled the pins out of her hair. Her braid fell down and he gently worked his fingers through her hair till the only trace of it was the slight kink to her hair. "I thought we could take a walk, see what else there is to do around here. And I think I saw a park on my way into town. There's supposed to be a meteor shower tonight..."__  
__  
Jen slipped her arm into Harm's, resting her head on his shoulder as they started walking. They walked in silence for several minutes before Jen spoke up.__  
__  
"How long would you have waited tonight?"__  
__  
"As long as I had to."__  
__  
"And if I hadn't have shown up?"__  
__  
"Then I would have shown up tomorrow in my dress whites." Harm fell silent for a minute. "So are we okay?"__  
__  
"We're okay."_


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimers: None of this is mine  
A/N: Everything will be in local time instead of zulu.  
A/N 2: I'm not a lawyer. The legal strategies used in this story wouldn't hold up in the real world. Take them with a grain of salt and humor me.

Well, this is it. The last chapter. A big thank you to everyone who's been reading this! I hope you've enjoyed it. And to the people who've been commenting, thank you so much! You're awesome!

1900 local time  
December 24,2004  
Falls Church, Virginia

"Can I hold him?"

"Of course ma'am, I mean Harriet." Jen corrected herself when Harriet arched an eyebrow at her.

The Roberts', along with a few more of her and Harm's old JAG friends were over at their house for a Christmas Eve get together. Bud and Harriet, along with Mike Roberts, had actually just arrived, the last to do so.

Jen carefully passed the baby in her arms to Harriet, untangling a strand of her hair from his tiny hand after Harriet had a hold of him. She looked down at her son in the other woman's arms then glanced over at her husband. Harm was across the room, talking with Mac and AJ Chegwidden. When he noticed her looking at him, he turned his head slightly and smiled at her before continuing his conversation. Her gaze was drawn to the photo hanging on the wall behind him. It was one of their wedding photos, the one of just the two of them taken right after they had been pronounced husband and wife.

She and Harm had been married in Spain at the end of June the previous year, only a month after he had proposed. It was a simple ceremony, performed by the base chaplain, with only Harm's family and a few of their friends from JAG in attendance. Including a very pregnant Harriet Sims who had told her doctor, and her husband, what to do with the idea that she shouldn't travel that late into her pregnancy.

They had married so soon because neither of them had any desire for an extended engagement, but there were practical considerations as well. Harm had been unemployed and unable to live on base with her until they were actually married. Jen's pay rate hadn't been sufficient to afford off base housing for them, so Harm had had to use his savings to pay for a small room at a local hostel until the wedding.

"I just love his little outfit."

Jen looked back down at her son. The outfit in question was a little red one piece with Santa Claus and his reindeer on the front. "Thanks. Harm's mom actually sent it to us." Jen looked up at Harriet and grinned mischievously. "Along with a matching tie for Harm."

Harriet looked across the room at Harm, hoping to get a glimpse of the tie in question. Jen smiled to herself, remembering just how she had persuaded Harm to wear it tonight. Finally deciding that she would have to wait till later to see it, Harriet turned her attention back to the baby in her arms.

"My godson has got to be one of the three cutest babies ever." Harriet said.

Jen looked at Harriet before glancing over to where the newborn Roberts twins were, sound asleep in their car seats. Bud wasn't very far away, keeping a watchful eye on them while he talked with his brother and Commander Turner.

Jen turned her attention back to her son, watching as he balled up his tiny fist, succeeding in getting it into his mouth on his second try. Harriet looked up at Jen and the two women grinned at each other.

"It means a lot, to Harm and myself, that you and Bud agreed to be Jeffrey's godparents."

Harriet would have waved away the thanks if she had a free hand. Instead, she settled for shaking her head slightly. "You've said that already, several times in fact. Really, Bud and I were thrilled you asked us."

Jen had discovered she was pregnant while they were still in Spain, shortly before her enlistment was up. Having already made the decision not to reenlist, the news that she was expecting confirmed for her that she'd made the right choice. Harm had been over the moon when she told him; they had been trying for several months without any luck.

Jeffrey Harmon Rabb had come into the world at 0330 on November 6, after almost eighteen hours of labor. He was almost two weeks late. Afterward, sore and exhausted, sweat plastering her hair to her forehead, the nurses gave her her son to hold for the first time. He'd turned towards her, quieting down as he instinctively sensed she was his mother. Jen had glanced up at Harm, who stood there next to her with tears in his eyes, and knew that it had all been worth it.

"How much longer do you have on your maternity leave?"

"Actually," Jen said, "I've been thinking that I might not go back to work right away."

After her discharge, her and Harm had come back to the States. The training and experience she'd gotten in the Navy had enabled her to get a position as a paralegal at a DC law firm. They had been very understanding about her pregnancy, eager to have someone with her experience for however long they could.

"Really." Harriet said, her eyebrows raised in surprise. "Have you told Harm yet?"

Jen nodded. "We've talked about it. He says it's up to me. It's not like we need my paycheck right now. And as much as I enjoy my job, I just don't want to miss this time with Jeffrey."

Harriet nodded. "I understand that. It seems like just yesterday little AJ was this small."

Before they can say anything else, Jeffrey started fussing, no longer satisfied with sucking on his fist. Harriet tried bouncing him a little, hoping to quiet him. When that didn't work she reluctantly gave him back to Jen.

"He's probably getting hungry." Jen told Harriet, who nodded in understanding. "Excuse me."

Jen moved further into the house, heading towards the nursery.

Harm looked up from his conversation with Mac and AJ when he saw Jen leaving the room. Seeing that she was headed in the direction of the nursery he realized that she was probably going to feed the baby. He caught her eye right before she left the room and she grinned at him.

"Fatherhood seems to suit you Harm." Mac said, noticing the exchange.

Harm turned back to her, the grin still on his face, but said nothing. He watched Mac glance around the room while she sipped at her drink. She lingered on the pictures hung up around the room.

"I really like what you guys have done with the place."

"Thanks." Harm said, remembering that Mac hadn't been over since right after they had moved in, when most of their stuff had still been packed up in boxes. "Jen gets most of the credit though. She was going a little stir crazy after she passed her due date."

The first nine months of their marriage had been spent living on base in the married enlisted quarters. After they came back to the States, they had moved back into Harm's old apartment. Harm had asked Bud to arrange a sub-let for it when he left for Spain and it just happened to be up at the same time that Jen's enlistment was. Harm still wasn't sure if that had been Bud's idea or if Harriet had thought of it.

Harm had started looking for a house after they had been back for a couple of months. Jen had told him that it wasn't necessary, that she was fine with an apartment but he'd kept looking anyway. The apartment was fine, for just the two of them, but he knew it would be a little too crowded once the baby was born. About a month before the baby was due they finally found this one, a small three bedroom house a couple of blocks from Bud and Harriet.

"Are you still with the same company?" AJ asked.

Harm nodded. "Still consulting. Although I've managed to persuade them to let me do some test flights as well now."

"How the devil did you do that?"

"Well, I've gotten a few offers from a couple of the law firms I've worked with the last couple of months. So in an effort to keep me on their payroll, they're willing to...indulge me a little with the flying." Harm grinned.

There had been too many hoops to jump through for him to be able to practice law in Spain. After the wedding, he and Bud had been discussing what he might be able to do for work instead when Tom Boone had joined them. Harm considered the older man family so Jen had insisted they invite him. When he found out about Harm's employment situation, he had promised to see if he could set something up with the company he worked for. Harm hadn't really expected anything to come of it but a week after he and Jen had returned from their honeymoon, he was offered a position as a consultant. Since he could do most of the work from Spain, Harm had accepted the offer.

He'd continued to do that when they returned to the States but he'd also gotten a few opportunities to do some legal work as well. Jen had mentioned in passing to one of the lawyers she worked with that her husband was a former Navy lawyer. A few weeks later that lawyer had asked for his help on a case he was working on. The case, and Harm's involvement with it, had attracted the attention of several other law firms in the DC area, who also approached him to assist with cases they were working on.

"Are you considering any of those offers?" Mac asked.

"Hm. I don't know. Right now I've got the best of both worlds. Plus, I can do most of my consulting work from home here so I'm around to help Jen  
with Jeffrey."

Jen came back into the room then, finished nursing the baby. She walked over to Harm who kissed her cheek and slipped his arm around her once she was standing next to him. He looked down into her arms; his son looked wide-eyed back up at him.

"Hey buddy." Harm said, gently tickling his stomach. "You're still awake?"

Recognizing the sound of his father's voice, Jeffrey flailed his arm about, trying to grab Harm's nose.

"There's too much going on out here and he's picking up on all the excitement." Jen said, laughing along with the others when the baby managed to get a hold of one of Harm's ears.

"Maybe he just wants to stay up to see Santa." Harriet joked as she walked over to join the group, one of the twins, little Mikey, in her arms. "I like your tie Harm."

Harm looked down at his tie, blushing, before mock glaring at Jen. Jen just shrugged her shoulders at him.

Bud came up behind Harriet, holding Nikki. Mike and Sturgis came over as well, completing the group. Seeing everyone gathered around, Harm raised his hand asking for silence.

"I know you're all probably hungry. But before we move into the other room, I just want to say a few words. Jen and I want to thank you all for coming tonight. A lot has happened in the last couple of years and we just want you to know that we're grateful to still call you all friends." Next to him Jen nodded her head, looking around at the people in the room with them. "Okay. That was basically it. So lets go eat."

Before anyone can move, Sturgis spoke up in a teasing tone. "You guys aren't feeding us takeout Chinese are you?" When everyone looked at him he shrugged. "I've heard about that strange tradition you two have. Did you really have some flown over to Spain when you guys were over there last year Harm?"

"I don't know who your source is but you heard wrong..." Harm answered straight faced. Then he grinned. "Chinese is Christmas Day, not Christmas Eve. And no I didn't have some flown over last year. Wish I would have thought of that, you have no idea what I did go through to get it."

Harm looked down at Jen and shook his head in mock resignation. "The things I do for you..."

Jen stuck her tongue out at him and everyone laughed as the group made their way into the next room.

* * *

"He's still up?"

Harm walked into the nursery, pulling the knot out of his tie as he went. Jen was sitting in the rocker with the baby, trying to get him to settle down. He was fussing, obviously tired but for some reason unable to fall asleep.

"Yeah. He just won't settle down." She grinned sleepily up at Harm when she saw him balling up his tie as he walked over to her. "You know your mother's going to want to see you wearing that thing when she and Frank get here tomorrow."

For a second Harm looked like he might argue with her. Then he nodded in reluctant agreement. Instead of throwing it into a corner like he had planned he folded it and set it down on the dresser. He crouched down next to the rocker.

"Let me have him. Go to bed. You're exhausted and you're going to have to get up again soon enough when he decides he's hungry again."

Jen didn't argue when Harm took the baby from her even though she knew he had to be as tired as she was. She pushed herself up out of the chair and pressed a kiss to Jeffrey's cheek and another one to Harm's lips. She headed out of the room. In the doorway she paused, turning back around to watch as Harm started pacing around the room, rubbing Jeffrey's back soothingly, as he tried to get him to fall asleep. She watched them for a minute longer then headed towards the master bedroom.

Later, Harm slipped into the room, quickly changing into a pair of loose pajama pants. Jen rolled over, snuggling close to him as he slipped under the covers.

"You finally got him down?"

"Yeah." In the darkness he wrapped his arms around Jen, nuzzling his nose in her hair. "You're still awake?"

"Mm." She lightly trailed her fingers along his ribs.

"You are not allowed to have any more Christmas cookies."

Jen pinched him, eliciting a cry of protest. "That was not my fault."

"Really?" Harm chuckled, his tone teasing not accusing. "How else do you explain a not quite two month old, who doesn't eat any solid food yet, being on a sugar high?"

Jen didn't answer and Harm fell silent.

"Harm, are you happy?"

Caught by surprise, Harm props himself up on his elbow so he can look down on her. There's just enough light for him to make out her face. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and then cupped her cheek in his hand.

"Where did that come from?"

"Seeing you tonight with everybody...It just looked so natural, like you belong there, with them." She paused. "Do you ever regret it? Resigning your commission?"

"I do miss it sometimes. But Jen," he paused, looking her in the eye so she would know he was serious. "I'm exactly where I want to be. No regrets."

He lowered his head and kissed her. They were both too tired to take it any further though. Harm flopped back onto his back and wrapped his arms around Jen as she snuggled close to him again. She rested her head on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart.

"I love you Harm."

"I love you Jen."

They drifted off to sleep, secure in their love for each other.


End file.
